Buuu..

It seems like whenever I'm upset, the only place I went to is either here and buddies.
It's been a month and 6 days since we parted our ways.
I can't say that I've gotten over you..
Facts are to accept, but reluctantly.
Letting go is a matter of time.
My hopes are always there, yet unanswered.
I always believe that there's a reason for us to meet and stay apart.
But why? Why we're not destined together?
Why destiny allowed us to meet but no way for us to be together?

It's actually really unbelievable that how fast one can change.
Just a day I can be no longer exist in your life anymore.

I don't hate you...
I never could and I don't regret meeting you... I never will...
But I do regret our relationship.
It destroyed the best thing we had, our friendship.
Jeopardized.
All I could wish for at the moment is to have back what we've lost.

Somehow, I'm just stupid enough to love you even after you broke my heart.
People said that once words and hearts are broken, it's the hardest things to repair.
Why did I still able to trust and believe everything and still goes to you whenever you need.
I really would love you to make things up instead of just a word "sorry".

You come and go as you pleased. Leaving no trace.
Everytime I try to walk away my mind without you, there's always a voice or something that reminds me I should stay.
I know I shouldn't dwell myself in the past.
One shall move on to be really thankful for their lives in order to be with the right one.

But... the amount of love I have for you seems to be greater than the pain you gave me.
As, no matter how much you have hurt me, I still chose to stay. Why?
I don't understand myself either.

Sometimes, I really wished that I didn't bump into you 2 years ago, so that I have nothing to be sad about.
I will not have bad dreams. I won't wake up in the middle of the night.
I won't have palpitation.
My life wont be in a mess and ruined like now.
I would have been concentrating my work, my studies.
I've lost my interest towards what I used to like.
Why did this gave me such an impact.

It really takes few seconds of your words to hurt me..
But why can't it takes me few seconds to heal?
Why does it takes so much of my time?
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you....
I was hoping for a rebound guy, to at least makes me feel better than now.
I won't have to suffer so much.
But he will be someone I'm sorry for as a rebound.

Every night I thought I'll be strong.. strong enough to let go.
Because days passed without you.
But days passed like years.
Tremendously pain. 

I accept apologies.. I forgive...
Forgiving is easy... but being able to trust you again is another story..
Though I would now still trust and regret after that.

You've been saying that maybe one day, one day,... I'll be what you need.. but not now..
I know.
I know.....

It's never easy for me..