lately,stuffs came across my mind.
but wasn't able to clarify it.

i always wanted to be tough.
trying so hard to be.
haplessly,i couldn't.

day after day, yet it remains as its still in depths of despair.
why couldn't you tilt your head up and have faith in yourself?
kick away your self-doubt.

___________________________________________

just 2days!
and i'm off to my very warmth home.
also, to meet dear yeing whom i longed to meet.
i guess its been a year since i last saw you?

hmm..i miss home so much.
even for few hours stepped in here, i couldn't stand.
wanted to go home so badly.
staying here forcefully for 2weeks already.
i really wanted to board bus and go home for the first weekend.
however, i didn't do so.
feeling so depressed.
and stressed with the upcoming tasks for this sem.

actually,there are times here i decided not to go back(during holidays,friends and i came to a plan to back kpr together to meet our beloved buddy coming back from aussie)...
after much wavering,i came up with this decision to back.
its not that i don't miss home at all and not that i don't wish to meet her, but its because i'm overly homesick makes me hesitate to make an option to back or not.
i don't wish to go through those doom and gloom days again and again everytime after i left home.

i really can't take it.
undeniably, i ain't independent.
acting like i wasn't dependent is real hard.
i know its been few years.
people hardly believe that i behave like that.
deceived people that i'm living damn happily here without worries.
i can't deny that i do have happy times here.
but now..
glumness become overwhelming.

hopefully everything goes on smoothly.
bless me.